As of recent events in my life, I have come to see that God really does want me to come to him a lot more in his word, a lot, lot more. I have come to see that the pray I was praying wasnt necessarily correct and dangerous. Since I had never been taught how to pray correctly and how to properly listen to God when he does speak to us, I have had to find out the hard way. I usually do find things out the hard way anyway, its me in a nutshell. But this has made me really strive to get stuck into God's word(the Bible) a lot more and to go to it for answers in life. Prayer on the other matter, is something I am still a little baffled about. How do we really know when God is speaking to us in our hearts? How can we see his answers confine in the scriptures, if we dont know what we are looking for in there to find the answers?
I have come to really see that God does speak through others for one, yes thats a big one to spot and its not always that obvious at first. He will speak through his word yes and rightly so, his word is alive and will speak to our hearts if we allow him to do so. This all comes in deep humility to him. Stop thinking what can I do and how will I overcome things etc, its more to how God do you want me to live? Show me the way, show me the truth, show the joy that lives in you, mold my heart to glorify your name. Scripture is the key, and I've really come to see that, more than ever recently. Whenever I have gone to scripture and really have confided in it, I have become so overwhelmed at times in the presence of God, I have had that deep delight in him and filled with joy. I'm also coming to see for that God does speak in our hearts but it is only when it aligns in with his word, that it is him and its the way that we pray that makes such a difference according to what we should be listening to.
I'm currently going through a stage in my life, for where I am questionning what does God want from my life? What job does he want me to have? How does God want me to know? Where to live? What church to attend to?
Also really seeking to become the Biblical man God wants me to become. I desire that incredibly and am eager to see the outcome of my life. This I hope is the turnaround point in my life, for where things are going to get better. Meeting new people who will become friends with, becoming wiser and wiser in God and his word. Growing into his love more and more. Becoming strong in him and becoming way happier and confident than I am now. I had my confidence really pushed back big time from something that happened to me when I was on holiday at a Christian camp, which also caused me to go through an enormous amount of emotional stress. I really hope it doesnt happen again to me. I have come to see through that, that I really do need to get out more and start meeting people face to face a lot more, and building friendships and that, that way. So overall, this I see as a new starting point in my life and my life is coming to get better, from the responses and support I have had from some great people I know on this group I am on called UK Disciples :)
Tuesday, 21 August 2012
Wednesday, 6 July 2011
06 July 2011 - Looking forward to being a Berean again!
Well this has been a long time!
Back at home after a long period of time and now my degree is finally complete! I've been reading my Bible a lot lately and loving what God has asked me to read; from Esphesians, Romans and Hebrews to now Colossians, Phillipians and Acts. Still reading Acts as there is so much to take in!
God is changing me even more recently; I am becoming even closer to him in my relationship with him. I have been talking to God a lot more throughout the day. He has been telling me many wonderful things of what I am truly inside and to show this side of me, which I am trying so hard to do so now. From telling me certain people are going to be a huge part in my life and that we will become very close to each other. I am to be open, encouraging and not afraid to say what is on my heart, which exactly matches to what is in Hebrews! I am respecting these people greatly and am taking a great interest in their lives, which is also said in Hebrews!
I have questions over many things recently and have seen for what God wants me to become from reading these books in the Bible and it has also shown just how much God loves us! His love is just absolutely amazing; it is so powerful and I seek his face more and more now. I have such a desire to become even closer to Jesus than I am at the moment in my life. I want to holding his hand and looking him directly in the face. I want to speak to him all of the time, even though this is hard as it is natural for us human beings to get caught up in our lives on earth. Especially as we cant actually physically see God. But we can see signs, his workings, his word living and breathing now and see our prayers answered, see his wisdom and guidance by the power of his holy and glorious spirit living inside of us. I now realise I desire for God to completely take control of my life, I want to completely and utterly fully let go and let him guide me in absolutely everything. By this I will become the person I am supposed to become; what he wants from me and what he wants me to grow into. I see that in the future I am to become a great father to my to become children, I will be a amazing husband whom respects his wife, looks after her, compassionately loves her and will be there for her always. We will have a truly strong connection and by the power of the Lords spirit will grow closer to Christ by our marriage. I am to become a very caring person; to become more and more like Christ.
I know that I have to be patient and events unfold themselves as Jesus has told me to do so, he wants me to talk to him a lot more and to fully trust in his word, even though things in life may make it difficult as of our struggles to see the future events from occurring. But I know I am to persevere and maintain strong in him; to become more rooted in him and deeply pour my heart out to him; to praise his glorious and holy name upon high and to truly love Jesus with all of my heart, body and soul.
Jesus my Lord and Saviour, I know you live within me by our spirit, as it was given to those on the day of the Pentecost. I love you so so much and want you to be a even bigger part of my life. I desire so much from my very core to seek your face more and to have a even deeper relationship with you; to become what you want from all of us. I pray that I can become so what you desire and that by reading the scripture and talking to you more that I can go and become what you want me to fully become. I ask of this in your holy and glorious name, thank-you so much Jesus. Amen
Back at home after a long period of time and now my degree is finally complete! I've been reading my Bible a lot lately and loving what God has asked me to read; from Esphesians, Romans and Hebrews to now Colossians, Phillipians and Acts. Still reading Acts as there is so much to take in!
God is changing me even more recently; I am becoming even closer to him in my relationship with him. I have been talking to God a lot more throughout the day. He has been telling me many wonderful things of what I am truly inside and to show this side of me, which I am trying so hard to do so now. From telling me certain people are going to be a huge part in my life and that we will become very close to each other. I am to be open, encouraging and not afraid to say what is on my heart, which exactly matches to what is in Hebrews! I am respecting these people greatly and am taking a great interest in their lives, which is also said in Hebrews!
I have questions over many things recently and have seen for what God wants me to become from reading these books in the Bible and it has also shown just how much God loves us! His love is just absolutely amazing; it is so powerful and I seek his face more and more now. I have such a desire to become even closer to Jesus than I am at the moment in my life. I want to holding his hand and looking him directly in the face. I want to speak to him all of the time, even though this is hard as it is natural for us human beings to get caught up in our lives on earth. Especially as we cant actually physically see God. But we can see signs, his workings, his word living and breathing now and see our prayers answered, see his wisdom and guidance by the power of his holy and glorious spirit living inside of us. I now realise I desire for God to completely take control of my life, I want to completely and utterly fully let go and let him guide me in absolutely everything. By this I will become the person I am supposed to become; what he wants from me and what he wants me to grow into. I see that in the future I am to become a great father to my to become children, I will be a amazing husband whom respects his wife, looks after her, compassionately loves her and will be there for her always. We will have a truly strong connection and by the power of the Lords spirit will grow closer to Christ by our marriage. I am to become a very caring person; to become more and more like Christ.
I know that I have to be patient and events unfold themselves as Jesus has told me to do so, he wants me to talk to him a lot more and to fully trust in his word, even though things in life may make it difficult as of our struggles to see the future events from occurring. But I know I am to persevere and maintain strong in him; to become more rooted in him and deeply pour my heart out to him; to praise his glorious and holy name upon high and to truly love Jesus with all of my heart, body and soul.
Jesus my Lord and Saviour, I know you live within me by our spirit, as it was given to those on the day of the Pentecost. I love you so so much and want you to be a even bigger part of my life. I desire so much from my very core to seek your face more and to have a even deeper relationship with you; to become what you want from all of us. I pray that I can become so what you desire and that by reading the scripture and talking to you more that I can go and become what you want me to fully become. I ask of this in your holy and glorious name, thank-you so much Jesus. Amen
Monday, 4 April 2011
Back Home at last!
Horray at last back at home for four weeks! Though still to fully complete my dissertation. Church was amazing yesterday to see so many people at the service. Plus for the first time ever to see a new comptempory music by Chris Tomlin. This is a first ever for my village church, I heard that they want to have a good band so that this sort of music will be more frequently played and sung during each service.
Awesome to continue with thinking over the fruits of the spirit, the main reading was from 1 Corinthians 13. Love is an amazing and very powerful thing, its capability doesn't have a limit; especially Gods love for us and the love and compassion that his Holy Spirit can give us by working through us. Thank you God so much for your love and that we can have a personal relationship with you,; thank you Jesus for changing me and showing me your love everyday of my life. Thank you for the holy scriptures of the Bible, which you spoke into. These words are very powerful and can infiltrate our lives, if we open our hearts and listen to your Holy and Divine Spirit. Thank you for the power of speaking tongues, that we may tell wonders to heaven and speak the language of heaven; a united language as the original covenant in the Old Testament was. I pray that as a part of the body of Christ, that we may all speak to each other, share things with each other, pray for each other and most importantly love each other, with the power of the love which you have shown us, before we were even brought into this world, by our parents. Amen.
This is something I feel we should all be thankful for, when we think of our parents and all that they do for us. Though this may not be the case for everyone. I pray that children and teenagers, who have problems in their family can be comforted by your love and kindness Father, that they may have their hearts touched by your love and have the water of the Spirit come pouring down upon them; that they know you and that you will always love them no matter who they are. Amen.
I have been thinking of three great great friends of mine, Paul, Bryony and David. They are currently in Iona; an island of the coast of Scotland. I thinking of the great time they must be having, learning about God's word and knowing the true feeling of community. I pray Father that they will continue to have a great time, even though tiring. That they continue to grow in your love and just enjoy the feeling of true community with people. That they may also have a safe journey back. Amen.
Awesome to continue with thinking over the fruits of the spirit, the main reading was from 1 Corinthians 13. Love is an amazing and very powerful thing, its capability doesn't have a limit; especially Gods love for us and the love and compassion that his Holy Spirit can give us by working through us. Thank you God so much for your love and that we can have a personal relationship with you,; thank you Jesus for changing me and showing me your love everyday of my life. Thank you for the holy scriptures of the Bible, which you spoke into. These words are very powerful and can infiltrate our lives, if we open our hearts and listen to your Holy and Divine Spirit. Thank you for the power of speaking tongues, that we may tell wonders to heaven and speak the language of heaven; a united language as the original covenant in the Old Testament was. I pray that as a part of the body of Christ, that we may all speak to each other, share things with each other, pray for each other and most importantly love each other, with the power of the love which you have shown us, before we were even brought into this world, by our parents. Amen.
This is something I feel we should all be thankful for, when we think of our parents and all that they do for us. Though this may not be the case for everyone. I pray that children and teenagers, who have problems in their family can be comforted by your love and kindness Father, that they may have their hearts touched by your love and have the water of the Spirit come pouring down upon them; that they know you and that you will always love them no matter who they are. Amen.
I have been thinking of three great great friends of mine, Paul, Bryony and David. They are currently in Iona; an island of the coast of Scotland. I thinking of the great time they must be having, learning about God's word and knowing the true feeling of community. I pray Father that they will continue to have a great time, even though tiring. That they continue to grow in your love and just enjoy the feeling of true community with people. That they may also have a safe journey back. Amen.
Sunday, 20 March 2011
20th March - extremely tired today
Yep as you guessed I am extremely tired today. Last night I settled down relatively early, about 10:30pm and went into this weird trance for about 4 hours, as soon as I realised this it was 1:48am! So thus, I am very tired after getting up at 9am for Church today. However, today has been very peaceful.
When I went to sit down on a pew, it wasnt long before I was asked as to whether I would like to read out the intercession, which scared me, as it was a bit sudden. Though apart from that, I was amazed today I was the only one in Church with a Bible at their side! However listening to the message in John 3 v1-17, was a beautfiul reminder of how amazing his Holy Spirit is. In fact we can be born again, in the spiritual sense and come to know Christ and thus know the Fathers doing and what we wants from us in this life.
Ever since last Sunday when I went to a amazing worship service in Market Drayton, things have been changing inside of me, I am becoming more bearing of the fruits of the Spirit. Seeing a couple of videos on youtube about the sheer power of the Holy Spirit, blew me away also; this was on the Lifechurch.tv channel.
I have been thinking lately, as to whom I am going to marry in the future, that is if I get married. I have this desire inside of me, to be married and love my wife with great kindess, generosity, honesty, deep trust and sheerest compasssion. I know that God is everything and completes us, but I feel there is also a human love which all of us seek to require. This to me would seem to be right if by the unity of holy matrimony, that it would bring us both closer to Christ. Marriage was and is God's idea.
Are we destined to be with one person, or is it entirely our choice and thus there being more than one person out there suitable for marriage?
I will be looking into this according to the scriptures of the Bible in the next week or so.
Signing out my friends
Matthew
When I went to sit down on a pew, it wasnt long before I was asked as to whether I would like to read out the intercession, which scared me, as it was a bit sudden. Though apart from that, I was amazed today I was the only one in Church with a Bible at their side! However listening to the message in John 3 v1-17, was a beautfiul reminder of how amazing his Holy Spirit is. In fact we can be born again, in the spiritual sense and come to know Christ and thus know the Fathers doing and what we wants from us in this life.
Ever since last Sunday when I went to a amazing worship service in Market Drayton, things have been changing inside of me, I am becoming more bearing of the fruits of the Spirit. Seeing a couple of videos on youtube about the sheer power of the Holy Spirit, blew me away also; this was on the Lifechurch.tv channel.
I have been thinking lately, as to whom I am going to marry in the future, that is if I get married. I have this desire inside of me, to be married and love my wife with great kindess, generosity, honesty, deep trust and sheerest compasssion. I know that God is everything and completes us, but I feel there is also a human love which all of us seek to require. This to me would seem to be right if by the unity of holy matrimony, that it would bring us both closer to Christ. Marriage was and is God's idea.
Are we destined to be with one person, or is it entirely our choice and thus there being more than one person out there suitable for marriage?
I will be looking into this according to the scriptures of the Bible in the next week or so.
Signing out my friends
Matthew
Saturday, 5 March 2011
5th March 2011 - a new beginning
After being alive for twenty two years, and having used the internet for a good ten years, I have now decided to try and complete weekly blogs of my life.
To first get things into perspective I would like to tell you a few things about myself. I am Christian, and came to Christ three years ago. I have been interested in God, ever since I was about ten years old, when I used to be in a choir at St Marys in Aylesbury; a town near to where I live. I had been to a few youth groups at home, lead by the local vicar and his wife Eric and Chris Chamberlain. I had gone to these ever since I was about 11 years old, when I moved to Cuddington back in the year 2000. It was around that time, that my parents where trying to get me into Waddesdon Church of England School, where if you were not within the catchment area, you had of have gone to Church for a set period of time, and thus I was led into going to the choir. I can't actually remember as to how this fully came into perspective, but I went to choir practice every Friday evening and to the service to sing on every Sunday. I left the choir once I started attending Waddesdon school.
However I was still blind, for many years of God's presence and his spirit working within me to lead me to him and for myself to open up my heart to let his spirit work within me. I carried on living a fairly atheist life, despite going to many of the youth group evenings. I found it very difficult at that time, to actually grasp what God is all about, and it was a lot easier just to forget and thus I tried to follow the crowd and fit in with all of the popular people at school. Things didn't actually fall into place until I was nineteen, within the first time of University. The first few weeks away from home, were a living hell for me, I couldn't stand living with my flat mates, as they all seem to wanted to pick on me and make very nasty comments about me, which I never really fully understood as to why, they did so. Therefore, to make myself feel better, I came along to CU with the original intentions of feeling comforted, by some sense of familiarity. On the first time that I went to the CU, I met Kyle and Alice, whom where the main leaders. One night, we had a healing night, where people were encouraged to come along in order to be healed. It was on that night, that I discovered that the spirit had entered my heart and completely changed the way I viewed the world. I started to feel other peoples pain whilst praying for them. I had been so self-less in praying for others health and thus felt a true sense of compassion and humbleness. I have now been attending the CU over the course of my second year and third year. Now in my fourth and final year at Uni, I was given the responsibility of social secretary.
Today I had a very nice lunch around a truly great and respectful friend of mine, John who helps to run the C..U at my university. I was also accompanied by a great friend Paul, whom I haven't known for that long, but I am beginning to grow a strong respect and friendship towards.
From this lunch, we had a very nice talk with two people from a Christian camp in Scotland called Camas. It was very interesting to see as to how they lived. They grow all of their own food and live very environmentally conscious and live with a strong sense of community and relationship. It got me thinking, as to how far the world has gone away from God, relying upon material items and this reputation and body image society, of trying to perpetually impress other people, just to be socially accepted. Why cant we live just to show, who we really are and not live this way? From this it truly strengthened that God is everything, and can fully complete our lives in every aspect of it. I felt some sense to humility and compassion that living for God and truly relying upon God in a strong personal relationship, is such a gift from God, in that we can all have this connection with his son Jesus.
To first get things into perspective I would like to tell you a few things about myself. I am Christian, and came to Christ three years ago. I have been interested in God, ever since I was about ten years old, when I used to be in a choir at St Marys in Aylesbury; a town near to where I live. I had been to a few youth groups at home, lead by the local vicar and his wife Eric and Chris Chamberlain. I had gone to these ever since I was about 11 years old, when I moved to Cuddington back in the year 2000. It was around that time, that my parents where trying to get me into Waddesdon Church of England School, where if you were not within the catchment area, you had of have gone to Church for a set period of time, and thus I was led into going to the choir. I can't actually remember as to how this fully came into perspective, but I went to choir practice every Friday evening and to the service to sing on every Sunday. I left the choir once I started attending Waddesdon school.
However I was still blind, for many years of God's presence and his spirit working within me to lead me to him and for myself to open up my heart to let his spirit work within me. I carried on living a fairly atheist life, despite going to many of the youth group evenings. I found it very difficult at that time, to actually grasp what God is all about, and it was a lot easier just to forget and thus I tried to follow the crowd and fit in with all of the popular people at school. Things didn't actually fall into place until I was nineteen, within the first time of University. The first few weeks away from home, were a living hell for me, I couldn't stand living with my flat mates, as they all seem to wanted to pick on me and make very nasty comments about me, which I never really fully understood as to why, they did so. Therefore, to make myself feel better, I came along to CU with the original intentions of feeling comforted, by some sense of familiarity. On the first time that I went to the CU, I met Kyle and Alice, whom where the main leaders. One night, we had a healing night, where people were encouraged to come along in order to be healed. It was on that night, that I discovered that the spirit had entered my heart and completely changed the way I viewed the world. I started to feel other peoples pain whilst praying for them. I had been so self-less in praying for others health and thus felt a true sense of compassion and humbleness. I have now been attending the CU over the course of my second year and third year. Now in my fourth and final year at Uni, I was given the responsibility of social secretary.
Today I had a very nice lunch around a truly great and respectful friend of mine, John who helps to run the C..U at my university. I was also accompanied by a great friend Paul, whom I haven't known for that long, but I am beginning to grow a strong respect and friendship towards.
From this lunch, we had a very nice talk with two people from a Christian camp in Scotland called Camas. It was very interesting to see as to how they lived. They grow all of their own food and live very environmentally conscious and live with a strong sense of community and relationship. It got me thinking, as to how far the world has gone away from God, relying upon material items and this reputation and body image society, of trying to perpetually impress other people, just to be socially accepted. Why cant we live just to show, who we really are and not live this way? From this it truly strengthened that God is everything, and can fully complete our lives in every aspect of it. I felt some sense to humility and compassion that living for God and truly relying upon God in a strong personal relationship, is such a gift from God, in that we can all have this connection with his son Jesus.
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